I’m Mama Not Supermom

Welcome to the January 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting:
Recovering from the Holidays

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about how their families get back to normal after the holidays are over.

My husband took the  kids fishing so that I could have some quiet time after the holiday chaos.  It was the first time in over a month that I was alone.  I was looking around my home, it was quite the post holiday disaster zone.  I was unsure of where to start; meal plan, lesson plan, or clean the house.   I felt the stress and anxiety brewing inside of me.  Then I took a deep breath and let it go.

I have not always been able to react to stressful situations so calmly.  You see, I spent much of last year feeling very overwhelmed and stressed out.  My  husband took a new job that requires him to travel for weeks at a time.   I am a stay at home homeschooling mama who struggled during this transition.  His absence was a huge adjustment for everyone in our family.  I attempted to throw on my supermom cape and do it all.  I created the meal plans, cooked the meals, planned the lessons, helped our children learn, kissed boo boos, mowed the yard, fed all of our critters, scooped dog poop, wiped children’s bottoms, and so much more.  I quickly became one stressed out overwhelmed mama.

Then one day I realized something that changed my life.  I realized that I did not have to be supermom.  I realized that simply being mama was all that my family needed me to be.   It was then that I was able to resume my role as the peaceful parent my children need and I strive to be.   I threw out my supermom cape and learned to let go and ask for help.

Letting go is something that I have focus on almost daily.  When I am confronted with a never-ending to-do list I have to cut myself some slack.  Instead of falling into a pit of anxiety I now remember to breath in and let it go.  I change my perspective and realize that everything on my list will get done, eventually, and if it doesn’t it probably wasn’t that important anyway.  Learning to let go of the unrealistic expectations that I place on myself  has been very freeing.

I think I need to hang this on our wall….

photo credit: seedsofmustard.com

I also started asking for help, something that does not come easy to me.    Previously, I attempted to accomplish everything on my own.   By not asking for help I would end up feeling frustrated, resentful, and grumpy.   I am very lucky to be surrounded by amazing people, family and friends, who support me and would love to help me….I just need to ask.

I have always encouraged my children to use their words and ask for help when they need it.  I let them know that perfection is not the goal, doing your best is.  It seems that I am beginning to take my own advice.  It is awesome  that I am now able to model this behavior for my children.

The holiday chaos may be over but the chaos that is my life remains and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Once I threw out my supermom cape, learned to let go, and ask for help I realized that I can handle anything that comes my way.  This also allows me to parent my children in the peaceful manner that I choose.

To see more of my natural parenting posts please click here.



Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting this March!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:


  • Pinterest Inspiration for Easier Winter Holidays Shannon, writing at Natural Parents Network, shares inspiration for having more relaxed winter holidays from their Handmade Holidays Pinterest board.
  • Seven Recipes for Beans – Post Holiday Cleaning — Destany at They Are All of Me shares her favorite bean recipes that she hopes will help her body recover from overindulging her sweet tooth during the holidays.
  • The Recovery in the Change — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen made changes in her life and attitude throughout 2012 and was pleasantly surprised at how those changes impacted her holiday recovery!
  • Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance…
  • Holiday Recovery — Meegs at A New Day talks about how the holidays can be overwhelming for a toddler, and how she’s helping her 3 year old recover.
  • 5 Ways to Detox After the Holidays — Brittany at The Pistachio Project gives a few ways to help you detox and get back on track after the holiday season has passed.
  • 3 Simple Ways to Establishing Rhythm After the Holidays or Any Time — Sheila at A Living Family shares 3 simple ways to reestablish a rhythm of connection and calm in your family after holidays, visitors, travel or any time.
  • Gemstones For Holiday Hangoverss — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delves into the power of gemstones as an often overlooked means of dealing with the holiday letdown.
  • Getting back to Healthy — Bess at A Warrior Mom talks about the struggle of getting young ones back to eating healthy after several days to weeks of getting more candy and sweets than normal for the holidays and gives some suggestions on how to get them back to eating healthy in the new year.
  • Post Christmas Juice Feast — Sam at Love Parenting explains why she has created a new tradition of juice feasting, and how she includes her toddler when detoxing.
  • The Java Monkey On My Back — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs realizes it is time to kick her cup of Joe habit as a first step toward detoxing.
  • Minimalist Holidays — Jorje of Momma Jorje doesn’t find much need for recovery after her minimalist version of the holidays.
  • Do something for you — Lauren at Hobo Mama urges you to find a silly and indulgent reward of me-time — and she has hers.
  • do we recover? — Kenna at Million Tiny Things wonders what recovery really means in the context of the tragedies of this past holiday season.
  • 37 Easy Ways to Save Money — Shannon at GrowingSlower is sharing these money-saving tips to help get your budget back on track after the holidays.
  • A Two Year Old’s ResolutionsThat Mama Gretchen is putting the holidays behind her with a spin on traditional resolutions — New Year’s goals for her two-year-old! Sound crazy? Read on for an explanation!
  • How to Find Balance after the Holidays — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her favorite ways to start a new year with hope and calmness.
  • Fresh Awakening — For Luschka at Diary of a First Child, the new year has coincided with a return to restful nights. With sleep, she’s found new directions in life, but while she can’t make too many changes to her life right now, she’s inspired and excited about the future.
  • Learning to slow down after a busy Festive Season Stoneageparent describes the joys and lows of this year’s festive season, as well as her New Year’s resolutions.
  • Detoxing’ Your Toddler After the Holidays — Does your family suffer side effects from the holidays? Join Christine from African Babies Don’t Cry to learn how she detoxed herself and her toddler off the treats and festivities of the season.
  • Scheduling is OK! — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep explores the possibilities of the — SCHEDULE!!
  • We’re Saving their First Christmas for Next Time — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot takes it easy after moving with her husband and new babies to Scotland.
  • A Vacation from the World — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children retreats with her family at the end of every year in order to recuperate and enjoy one another.
  • On the Road to Recovery — Dionna at Code Name: Mama isn’t just recovering from the holidays, she’s recovering from a lifestyle.
  • We Never Left the GrindErika Gebhardt compares a typical day pre-holidays and post-holidays.
  • Remembering and Recovering from the Holidays (One day at a time) — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM is recovering from holidays slowly–taking one day at a time–while trying to remember all the sweet moments that passed too quickly.
  • 5 a Day — To get back on track Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy needed a simple system to help her family learn new values.
  • Holiday Detox & Healing: Bieler Broth — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her secret for a gentle, whole-foods-based post-holiday detox: Bieler Broth!
  • I’m Mama Not Supermom — After a year filled with changes Angela at EarthMamas World has to remind herself that she does not have to be supermom while recovering from the holiday chaos.

21 thoughts on “I’m Mama Not Supermom

  1. Yes! Your family needs you, not superhuman powers! Good post–I also have had to learn to let go. The last year has taught me many things; I think one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you do what you can with what you have. I think to-do lists are the devil! Good luck with your continuing journey of letting go and asking for help! 🙂

    • Angela says:

      I love your view on to-do list Mercedes!! At the end of the day if we are all together and happy that is all that matters 🙂

  2. Sandy says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. As I have said before, you are my hero! Your children are so fortunate to have you as their mother and I am so proud to be your Momma!

  3. Bess says:

    Ive never made a good supermom. I have this image of what I should be in my head but have always fallen short. like way way short. Ive come to acceptance (mostly) that my house will never be that spotless house (heck… even clean house! forget spotless) that others seem to achieve. That my kids don’t get to go on outtings every day of the week. That I take too long to drink my coffee in the morning. Spend too much time on the computer and the TV is on too often. But my kids have fun. They know I love them. I make great healthy meals. and spend lots of time playing with them each day. I stay sane (usually). and have accepted that this is what mom looks like in this family. 🙂

    You sound like super mom still in what you accomplish for your kids and family and home in a day. You are doing fabulous. Treat yourself to some mommy time and be proud of the great mama you are

    • Angela says:

      Sounds like you are supermom to your kids as well 🙂 Fun and love are the most important…it’s all of that other, and usually unimportant crap, that make us second guess ourselves.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean more than you know <3

  4. Dionna @ Code Name: Mama says:

    Love this!! And I can so relate. I’ve had to scale back on both the projects I take on, as well as the expectations I have for myself. You really don’t want to know the last time I mopped my floor 😉 But I am happier. I was even *happier* when I took a blogging break for most of December (and, um, running into January). It’s given me time to spend with my family without feeling the pressure of deadlines. Here’s to wishing both of us a more relaxed 2013 🙂

    • Angela says:

      Dionna you have so many projects going on, you certainly deserve a break. As for floors, I SO regret picking out a light colored tile it shows any speck of dirt :/ I took a break in December for the holidays and my husband was home all month (YAY!). But it is now back to reality. I am visualizing a positive 2013 for us both 🙂

  5. Very inspiring! I try a little too hard to be “super-everything” which makes me super-nothing. Spreading yourself thin gets you nowhere. Thanks for the honest perspective which serves as a reminder that making memories IS more important than cleaning up the messes.

    • Angela says:

      Very well said Jennifer. I do that often, I run around the house trying to do everything and nothing gets done except I end up frustrated and pissy. I need to hand that sign up at my front door…the random ‘pop ins’ from neighbors still freak me out!

  6. Thanks for the reminder! Sometimes it feels like I *should* be able to do it all since I have the luxury of staying home with my kids, but then I remember that they are twin toddlers and say “Yeah, right!” 🙂

  7. Lauren @ Hobo Mama says:

    This is such an important lesson! Solo parenting has to be really hard anyway, and then with homeschooling and all thrown into the mix — yes. Good for you for letting go and asking for help. Asking for help seems to be the hardest step sometimes!

    • Angela says:

      It really is Lauren. I set up expectations in my head and often they are totally unachievable. I am learning to chill out but it is certainly a process!!

  8. Pingback: Post Christmas Juice Feast | Love Parenting
  9. Pingback: Learning to slow down after a busy Festive Season Stone Age Parenting | Stone Age Parenting

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